Year 2010

A new year, a new hope and a new dream ^^ I am now thinking back what i actually did and achieve in the year 2009. Honestly, not really much. First of all, i feel so guilty that i never been active in my ko-kurikulum activities. I feel wasted that i didn't get any big achievement for five years ! Oh dear, guess it is too late to realize it now. Next, i am so sad that i should have done better in my SPM examination ! I really regret now for not studying hard enough and i'm gonna be a dead meat coming the month of March. (Sadly, can't turn back the time)

Ok, done with school stuffs. Going to love and relationship part. I was totally a loser in my past relationship (So far only one, pai seh). Until now only i realize how much chances he had given to me since we started the relationship. I am the one who keep create problems between us. I admit myself a LOSER and JERK. Why only now i realize that he is really into me and not cheating me ? Why only now i know that i am wrong ? Oh god, i really hate myself for that. But anyway, i have to face the fact that i'm the one who ruin the relationship. (Feel like crying but i'm really sick of crying for the past few months !!)

Its already almost half month of January 2010. I still can't see my future. My path. All i can see is a blur vision where i'm afraid to go on. I'm afraid that i will fall into a deep hole and can't get back up again. I know i have to move on. I always looking for the word "HOPE". I still can't find it. But no matter what happen, i'm always looking forward to my college life on either May or August ^^
I will not repeat the same mistake that i did in the past year. But I AM WHO I AM. I WILL NOT CHANGE MY PERSONALITY FOR ANYONE. If i have change, I am not myself anymore.